Hot Joke About Science and scientist of the World
A guy
goes into a bar and asks ''can I have a pint of energy please?''
The barman pulls the pint and says ''that'll be 80p please'' (80p read ATP) |
Biology
is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.
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If
Darwin was right, you will probably figure it out in a few million years.
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When you
breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
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Biomathematics Final Exam
Question:
Model the brain. |
Why did
the chicken cross the road?
Darwin1: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Darwin2: The fittest chickens cross the road. |
On his long voyage on the Beagle,
Darwin studied thousands of animals and plants in all parts of the world. To
learn more about his evolution theory please click here.
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How do you identify a bald
eagle?
All his feathers are combed over to one side. |
Blood
flows down one leg and up the other.
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Enzymes
are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require
harder thinking.
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Three
freshman-engineering students were sitting around talking between classes,
when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.
One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses. Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pulleys is ingenious. "No," the third student said, "you're both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?" |
One day
the zoo-keeper noticed that the orang-utan was reading two books - the Bible
and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why
are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother." |
Q: what
do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A: The nucleus. |
A silver medal is given by the Royal Society in biennially (in even years) in reward
for work of acknowledged distinction in the broad area of biology in which
Charles Darwin worked, notably in evolution, population biology, organismal
biology and biological diversity.
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Did you
hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other
as a control.
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A
Charles Darwin anecdote:
Charles Darwin saw a beetle and picked it up. He saw a second and picked that one up in the other hand. He then saw a third one, which he really wanted. Not knowing what to do, he shoved one of the ones he was holding into his mouth in order to pick up the third one. The one in the mouth emitted some kind of stuff which made him spit out the beetle and also lose the other two. |
Mushrooms
always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
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Culture Shock: A biologist
Disease.
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Do
molecular biologists wear designer genes?
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Q: How
do you call a laboratory in which they use rats as test-animals?
A: Lab-rat-ory. |
It's
Your Genome (After All)
(Sung to the Tune of "It's A Small World") Verse: There are just four bases in DNA. There is G and T, and there's C and A. And their sequence in genes Forms our guts, lungs, and spleens From our genome after all. Chorus: It's your genome after all, It's our genome after all, It's our genome after all, We've great gobs of genes. Verse: If your ACA turns to ACT There's a world of problems For you and me. For the bases won't hold, And the protein won't fold, From your genome after all. Chorus: |
Q: How
do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes. |
Q: What
did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
A: I like your "style". |
Q: What
did one lab rat say to the other?
A: "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack. |
It has
been discovered that research causes cancer in laboratory rats.
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"In
Science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to
whom the idea first occurs."
– Sir Francis Darwin (1848-1925, English botanist, son of Charles Darwin), In: Eugenetics Review (April 1914, "Francis Galton") |
The
Origin of Species
Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species, published in 1859, is one of the most controversial books of the 19th century. Although the theory is widely accepted by scientists today, it is still banned in many schools (esp. in southern U.S. states). The full title of the book is On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life. In it, Darwin presents a theory of evolution - a concept that embodies the belief that existing animals and plants are developed by a process of gradual, continuous change from previously existing forms by natural selection. This theory is in most aspects identical to the theories now accepted by scientists. He carefully argues out this theory of evolution of species by natural selection by presenting all the accumulated scientific evidence from his voyage on the HMS Beagle in the 1830s. His theories were opposed to the then-accepted viewpoint of creationism. It is arguably one of the pivotal works in scientific history. Moreover, it was (and still is) eminently readable, even by the non-specialist (although it is very wordy - a good general level of intelligence is a prerequisite for comprehending the arguments and subtle nuances put forth by Darwin). Darwin, as evidenced by his later work, The Descent of Man, was well aware of the implications such a theory would have on the study of the origins of humanity; consequently, he withheld publication of his accumulated evidence in favour of natural selection for more than a decade. He was eventually forced into publication because of the independent development of a similar theory by Alfred Russel Wallace, who sent Darwin his manuscript in 1858. Darwin's theory of evolution was put forth the following year. It is felt by some that Wallace deserves as much credit as Darwin for the theory of natural selection, and that he has been rather unfairly marginalised from the history of its development. |
The
theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
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The
pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
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A fossil
is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
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Alfred
Russel Wallace (1823-1913)
Do you know that:
Although Wallace independently reached the same conclusion, as Darwin about the “natural selection“ theory, it has usually been Darwin's name alone associated with it. Wallace expressed no resentment at receiving so little credit for his contribution. He remained a gracious man to the last, commenting late in life that his greatest achievement had been to prompt Darwin to publish his own theory. To learn more about Wallace, click here. |
An
unemployed biologist got a new job at the zoo. They offered him to dress up
in a gorilla's skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to
the zoo.
On his first day on the job, the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring. During one acrobatic attempt, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help!" The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!" |
Many
dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
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Genetics
explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should
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I love
fools' experiments; I am always making them.
– Charles Darwin |
A
mushroom walked into a bar. The bar tender said, "Get out of here! We
don't serve your kind."
"Hey, what's the problem?" "Just get out of here. We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom in anguish says, "Why not? I'm a fun guy." |